I found real stories, the snarky, not rose colored, but also not defeated or self-obliterating, occasionally curse-word filled, stories of pregnancy the most helpful. I’d like to contribute and be quoted saying it.
Lest you think otherwise, being preggers is hard.
This morning, my first thoughts were utter joy of being just the right temperature, not sweat soaked hot as seems to happen nowadays and nothing hurt. Yet. If I didn’t move, everything was comfortable.
Also, I smell funny. Primal. Something that is less about iPads and more about caves and black earth.
Then my child starting kicking my cervix. Good morning, darling. Are you up too? I tested rolling over and every moving part of my pelvis woke up in a gentle, but now familiar, sizzle of “don’t wanna” ache. It took the heart of a warrior to swing these (still) swollen feet out of bed and on to the floor. Wiggling feet into slippers is an act of courage as it sometimes requires alternating hip movement. Sometimes it feels great. Sometimes it’s a bunch of Nope. I never know until I try… This hour.
Freshly proud from getting myself upright, I look to the standing and seeing how gravity feels. Yup. Every baby-holding tendon and muscle has to slowly unclench as BB shifts downward. Breathe, but hold still for a moment, I tell myself, let everyone understand that it’s time to walk. First step is often hard but damn do I have to pee… Again.
All of of these little pangs are training and experience so I lean into them. Eventually BB will need my help exiting the little home we’ve built. Biology doesn’t really consider comfort. It’ll push just a hairs breadth past the edge of what I think I’m capable of and moment by moment I’m training my self to realize it’s much further than I would have thought.
When I’m not feeling like a little sh*t, I’ll even thank myself and BB for it.
31 weeks and counting.